Gravity. In the words of the great Marty McFly, “Doc, this is heavy.”
The weight of this current moment hasn’t fully settled in. I know this because I’m not really nervous, yet.
The countdown has begun, and by the time you’re reading this, the countdown may have traversed the event horizon and transformed into the count…UP. In about a month’s time of me writing this, the Brannan trio will become a quartet. We’re on schedule to welcome baby Oliver Miguel Jeremiah Brannan into the world on April 12th in Florida!
I feel like we’re being pulled through a wormhole and we’re quickly reaching terminal velocity. We will soon be spit out of the other end of this rip in the continuum, but with another organism in tow. He will have questions that we won’t be prepared for. He will bring us a sense of urgency and calm. He will bring our emotions to the brink and keep us grounded. AND WE WILL CHANGE SO MANY DIAPERS, Y’ALL.
We are about to embark on a roller coaster that we think we’ve ridden before, but this time it’s different.
Naturally, we feel more prepared for round 2 than we did for round 1, but I still don’t feel like we’ve completely digested everything that’s about to happen. We are boldly trekking into the adventure of cultivating another human soul with little more than a map and a few supplies. But, all three of us in the fam are already committed to making this work. My wife has absolutely taken charge of this pilgrimage, I’m following her lead, and our offspring is making sure she has her certificate from the Academy of Big Sistery framed, hung in her office, and ready to welcome her little sibling.
One of the biggest differences this time around is the way our youngest child will be brought into our family.
Our 1st offspring, Eden, was chosen in God’s plan to be born to us through my wife. Our 2nd offspring won’t be biologically kin to us, but we, through God’s plan, chose him to be a member of our family. And yes, he will still be an offspring! He wasn’t born out of thin air!
Another difference this time around is that we’ve had lots of time to think and process this life changing decision (adoption is not a quick stroll on the beach)…
This has brought me to consider daily what is about to happen and what I need to do to make sure I document where we are in the integral moments of our journey. The best way I can think to do that at this step in the process is talk directly to the two people who will be looking at my wife and me as a guide for how to treat others and how to live their lives.
So, I will write a letter addressed to each one of these younglings so I can make sure my thoughts are captured!
Otherwise, passing through that wormhole I mentioned may suck my memories and thoughts dry! That’s sometimes what these big moments tend to do.
So, here goes:
To my goofy, talented, brilliant, beautiful, baby girl,
You are exactly what I prayed for when I was first blessed with the knowledge of you. But, at the same time, you take me by surprise every single day. How can you be so much like your mom and make me see myself all at once?
I’m so blown away by your ability to care, empathize, and create. Your thoughts far exceed your age, but you keep your age intact! I’ve never known someone to love, laugh, cry, and feel so deeply. Never change that about yourself. Your ability to be completely plugged in to your emotions and keep a foundation in logic is astounding.
Watch your mom. She is who you want to be when you grow up. Watch how she treats people. Watch how she reacts. She’s going to be tough on you, and one day you will be so thankful that she was. While you’re watching your mom, watch how she treats me and how I treat her. We have a lot to work on, but one thing we have is each other. She is so kind, so hard-working, and so incredibly loving (which is where you get it). I hope it’s obvious to you that I love her and will always try my best to put both of you and your needs ahead of mine. Your mom has done that for me and many others her whole life, and I’m learning.
Love others, love yourself, love your brother, keep giving me a hard time, and oh, try to be more like your mom! Ha!
I love you so much,
Your daddy, forever and always
To my incredibly anticipated, highly-loved, prayed-for baby boy,
Man, you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into! You have a mom, dad, and sister who already adore you more than you can comprehend. Then, if that wasn’t enough, you have four grandparents, three uncles, two aunts, and a whole host of close family and friends who are ready to spoil you as bad as you can possibly be spoiled. We are so ready to meet you and bring you into our wild family.
You’ll learn pretty quickly that we’re about as close as it gets as a family, so I hope you’re ready for some snuggles and some good times. Your big sister is so ready to have sleepovers with you, you might as well prepare to deal with that for the rest of your life.
We’re praying so hard for you. We have been so blessed to pour into your birth mother who will bring you into this world. We’re praying for her, as well. It’s not even a question that God has had his hand all over this process since before we even thought about it.
If nothing else, we pray we can raise you to love others, and put others ahead of yourself. People are all different. You are different. Different is good. Different is not bad. Love different. Love people.
You are chosen, and God saw it fit for you to be placed into our family. It’s going to be the honor of my life to have both a daughter and a son. I can’t believe I can even utter the words, my son, or my daughter. It’s mind boggling. God has plans and I’m just along for the ride! You are going to love it here.
I love you so much,
Your daddy, forever and always
To our friends, family, and community. Each and every one of you has helped us in this process.
Just reading this blog is helping. We hope that others can learn through our experience and see that adoption is not scary or extremely difficult, especially if you have a great support system like we have. And if you don’t think you have that support system, or if you want to just talk about the process, just reach out to us. We would love to help you in your journey if you feel like adoption is right for you and your family.
Thank you for following our adoption journey. Our baby boy is still due any minute and we can’t wait to meet him and welcome him into our family.
Please consider making a tax-deductible donation to the 1720 Foundation to help other families find their adoption journey.
Click here to read more stories about the Brannan’s family journey to adoption.