The Multi-Generational Household

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For the last three years, I have been working full-time and going to law school full-time. This May, I walked across that stage and obtained my J.D. I may have been the one who walked across the stage, but so many others deserve credit for helping me get here. Now, I am entrenched in studying for the Bar exam and still trying to balance a work/family life, but again, not alone. I couldn’t do it without the help of my husband, my mom, and my son, Quinn. We have a multi-generational household, with my mom taking a lot of the duties off of me and my husband so that we may pursue our careers and education.

My mom helps us run a household and shuttle Quinn wherever he needs to go. She makes sure that our laundry is done, that there is a dinner cooked or a lunch packed. And she ensures that Quinn makes it to dance class when one of us is running late from work or out of town.

How Do You Do It?

The not so passive aggressive shirt…

“I could NEVER live with my mother again,” or “How do y’all not argue all the time- especially with you both having very different political views?” or “What does your husband think about that?” are some of the questions I get all the time. However, the questions seem odd to me because we have lived like this for a few years now. It just works for our little family. Mom and I don’t discuss politics (November 2016 involved a lot of bedroom TV watching and passive aggressive around the house t-shirt wearing). She has a room on one side of the house and we share common areas. And we often watch TV together as a family, go on trips as a family, but also do stuff on our own. My husband is grateful not only for the familial help, but for the bond that Quinn has with my mom.

Benefits of a Multi-Generational Home

I grew up in a multi-generational family, having grown up in a 1,000-square-foot home with my mom and grandparents. I became so close to my grandparents that they were like a second set of parents. Living with them allowed my mom to stay at home with me during my infant and toddler years. It allowed me to learn from my grandparents, and it gave both them and me the priceless relationship that I am now able to give my mom and Quinn.

 

I have thought and thought about presenting “downsides” to having a multi-generational household, but I can’t think of any that aren’t normal household issues: what to watch on TV, family budgeting, differences in parenting styles. All of those things are issues, but not any different than a more traditional household. Additionally, it allows all of us to support each other, comfort each other, and give one another a break when we need it.

Being able to watch my mom and Quinn enjoy each other’s company daily is not only priceless to them, but it’s priceless to my husband and me.

Quinn won’t know what it’s like to “spend the summer at Grandmas” or to have multiple Thanksgiving dinners, but he does know what it’s like to have his “Idgie” pick him up from school every day and kiss him goodnight every night. She will forever have an impact on his life and memories, and as someone who also has those memories of my grandparents and their daily involvement in my life, I am forever grateful that this works for our family.

 

 

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Lauren Rhodes Braden is a native of Ocean Springs, Mississippi, where she resides with her husband, Eric and her son, Quinn. She has perfected the art of balancing better than most trained circus acts. She is a mother of one, and recently completed her J.D. at Mitchell Hamline School of Law in St. Paul, Minnesota, and is co-owner of Braden Valladares, LLC, a mediation and arbitration firm. An alum of Ocean Springs High School (2001), Ole Miss (B.S. in Criminal Justice 2006), Delta State University (M.S. in Criminal Justice 2008), and Mitchell Hamline School of Law (J.D. 2018), Lauren plans to take the Mississippi bar exam as well as the Louisiana Bar Exam to move Braden Valladares, LLC into an all-inclusive legal services practice in Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi, specializing in areas of litigation such as family law, juvenile law, elder law, adoptions, guardianships, conservatorships, and dispute resolution such as mediation and arbitration. She is one of the first incoming classes of the new hybrid J.D. program at Mitchell Hamline School of Law, allowing her to meet her Docket Divas and future law partners, and blog about their journey through raising families, attending law school, continuing to work full-time, and still maintaining shreds of sanity. Lauren has written for all court levels in Mississippi, the U.S. Federal District Court, the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals, and most recently the United States Supreme Court. As a non-traditional mom, Lauren brings a fresh perspective of being a career focused mom, encouraging moms to go back to school or focus on their careers while still being an attentive, fun, and loving mom. Additionally, Lauren was raised in a multi-generational home and has chosen the same path, as her mom plays a very important role in their small nuclear family, making sure that Quinn makes it to hip hop class on time and ensuring that there is a hot meal on the table- cooking was never Lauren’s strong suit (along with cleaning… laundry…. outdoor projects….etc.) When not having dance parties around the house or attending concerts, Lauren and the family can be found in their second home, New Orleans. They enjoy shopping the local markets and stores, attending festivals, eating all of the amazing food the city has to offer, and parading like fools! Her philosophy as a mom is to live and enjoy the moments- both big and small, and to not take life or parenting too seriously. She has been known to blast Taylor Swift and sing to the top of her lungs as a solution to having to listen to a whiny kid, and rescue a giant hundred-pound dog on a random Monday after a tough day at work. It’s a good thing she is a juggler, because at the Braden house, it’s always a circus!