Smartphones and Social Media: How Soon is Too Soon?
Parenting has its challenges. Am I right? When I think about my own childhood, I can’t help but think about those Gen X memes reminiscing how kids would roam free from dusk to dawn, stopping only to drink water from the hose in the neighbor’s yard, and not coming home until suppertime, all without a text, DM, or phone call to our parents. It’s a stark contrast to today, where kids have the potential for living a completely digital life with access to a smartphone, instantaneous communication, and ties to the world writ large.
I’m soon approaching the time in my parenting journey when I need to consider how to handle the important decision of whether to allow social media and smartphones in our house. My son is in fourth grade and kids already have mobile devices on the school bus, at the sports field, and no doubt in their home.
This looming decision is not without its pros and cons. The threat of cyberbullying is a real one. There is a widespread lack of civility across social media that even as an adult can be a challenge to navigate. With forty-some years’ experience under my belt, I sometimes struggle to let things roll off my back. But for a child, that might not come so naturally. There’s also the issue of click bait and online predators. These are not easy issues to grapple with, so I hope you can appreciate my apprehension for the inevitable conversation about smartphones and social media.
At the same time, I recognize that there are circumstances that might require the need for a smartphone or mobile device. If both parents work, a smartphone would make it easier to coordinate schedules, pick-ups, etc. Or, if a child has extra-curricular activities such as sports or clubs, having a smartphone makes dynamic schedule coordination that much easier. Or perhaps your child has an after-school job or takes on babysitting gigs, a smartphone is a great way to maintain a line of communication in case of an emergency.
While I’m a big fan of getting kids off screens and outdoors, I know that there will come a time when I might want or need to put a smartphone in the hands of my son. In the same way I’d consider putting him behind the wheel of a car (in a few years), I’d feel more comfortable teaching him boundaries and how to safely navigate apps, the internet, and (maybe) social media before handing over the keys to jump right on the highway.
When it comes to smartphones and social media, the question of how soon is too soon is a tricky one and I won’t pretend to have the answer. The answer to that question lies in so many variables, family by family, kid by kid, and gender by gender. While I can’t give you a magic answer, I’m happy to share a few resources and recommendations sourced from parents who’ve made the leap before me.
Smartwatches
If you’re not ready to make the move straight to a phone, smartwatches offer connectivity, but have such limited capability for internet access and social media making them attractive for basic communication. They have a cool factor going for them, so smartwatches keep the kids happy, too. Having a device on your wrist in school can be a distraction, so it would be important to discuss proper smartwatch etiquette before trusting a child to wear it to school.
Starter Phones
Touted as a safe cell phone for kids, a Gabb Phone is like training wheels for a real smartphone. For your big kid, tween or teen, a Gabb Phone will keep kids connected to family and friends without the dangers of the internet. These devices give parents the flexibility to enable apps and features who might need more than a basic phone.
Other starter phones worth taking a look at include The Light Phone, the Bark Phone, and the Pinwheel Phone.
Smartphones
If you decide that a smartphone makes sense for your child and family, it’s completely acceptable to place guardrails to protect your child. Consider an a la carte approach to the rules and adjust as appropriate. For example, some parents shared that they don’t allow downloads or phones in bedrooms. Others set up screen time limits, adjusted settings to prevent a child from creating a new Apple ID, limited content, or removed browsing software altogether.
An interesting alternative to your run of the mill Apple or Samsung smartphones, the Troomi Phone allows parents to unlock features as kids demonstrate responsibility, without having to replace hardware or equipment as they mature.
Wait Until 8th
If you’re in need of solidarity in your decision to delay smartphones and social media, check out Wait Until 8th, an organization that empowers parents to rally together to delay giving children a smartphone until the end of 8th grade.
Kids these days are growing up at an accelerated clip. Parents should feel comfortable with their choices surrounding smartphones and social media without peer pressure one way or the other. We are a village in raising these amazing human beings and it’s nice to give kids the chance to be kids without the pressure of smartphones or social media. Whatever you decide, know you’re not alone in the struggle and there are plenty of options and resources to help guide you towards the best decision for your family.
Michelle Garrett is the founder of Wonder Club Explorers, an independent scouting group that offers merit patches and activities for families without the headaches or commitments of traditional scouting. Her work has been featured on Run Wild My Child, Every Avenue Travel, Daily Mom, and Hey 30A, and she is a co-host of the Run Wild My Child podcast. An outdoorsy mom, Michelle loves everything about living on the Emerald Coast, from the beaches and bayous to the pine forests and night skies. You can find Michelle on Instagram @wonderclubexplorers.
